After spitting the muffins, cut them into half moon shapes. Spread on a baking sheet, and broil to brown, flip and repeat so they are crispy and a little dried out, but still soft in the center.
Cut the ham and sauté it in a skillet for about 5 minutes to lightly brown.
Make the cheese sauce - Whisk the cornstarch into the milk until there are no lumps. Bring it to a simmer, stirring constantly as it thickens. Remove from heat and stir in the cheese until combined. It should melt with residual heat, but if you need a little more heat, you can turn it on low, just be careful not to overheat.
Make the hollandaise - Melt the butter in the microwave. You want the butter to be very hot. Whisk together the egg yolks, mustard, lemon, and hot sauce. Continue to whisk as you slowly drizzle in the piping hot butter. Add the butter as slowly as you can, whisking aggressively, until all the butter is incorporated.
Bring a pot of water to a simmer. Crack the eggs into a mesh sieve one at a time, allowing the looser egg white layer to drip through. Dip the sieve into the boiling water and shake the egg off the sieve. Repeat with the remaining eggs. Cook until the yolks are medium - mostly solid but soft. Chop the eggs up into about 6 pieces per egg.
Form the nachos - layer the muffins and chips on a serving platter and pour on the cheese first, then the ham, then the eggs, and finally the hollandaise. Top with paprika.