Put the chicken in a bowl with the buttermilk along with the paprika, cumin, and some salt and pepper. Allow to marinate for 2 hours.
Make the pretzel dough according to the linked instructions. After the first rise, roll out the dough to 1 inch thickness.
Cut circles with a cookie cutter that are 2 inches in diameter.
Bring 5 cups of water to a boil with the baking soda in it.
Boil the dough rounds for 30 seconds, then flip and boil 30 seconds more. Remove from the water to a drying rack
butter a preheated waffle iron and place a dough round into each waffle spot in the iron. Close and allow to cook for 5 minutes. remove and place on a baking sheet.
Repeat until all the dough is cooked and place the baking sheet in the oven at 200 until the rest of the meal is ready.
Put the squash in a pan with a splash of oil on high heat and cook about 5 minutes until starting to brown on the edges. Add the brussel sprouts, cabbage, jalapenos, and onions and cook another 10 minutes, stirring often and adding more oil if needed.
Add the spices and butter and stir well. Turn to low and cook, stirring occasionally until ready to eat.
Meanwhile, put the beer in a bowl and salt it. Whisk in just enough flour until you get a thick batter that is similar thickness to a pancake batter.
preheat oil to 375.
One by one remove chicken from the marinade and dip in the batter. Then drop into the hot oil.
Allow to fry about 3 - 5 minutes until the batter is set and the chicken is cooked.
Remove from oil and place on a rack. finish with salt and pepper.
Mix the maple and mustards to desired flavor. It's up to you if you want it to be more mapley or more mustardy!