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Last Restaurant Standing - Stoned Pork

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This week is all about takeout. Raymond shows the remaining couples the first takeaway food in Britain, the Cornish pasty. It had savory food at one end, and a dessert at the other, the ultimate on the go food! Raymond tells the couples that they must create a takeaway box that shows their restaurant brand. He says that takeout should be a calling card for your restaurant, and when people are finished eating they should be excited to try your restaurant in person next time. I really enjoyed this episode. Did it seem extra long to anyone? I filled up a whole sheet of paper with my notes! This episode also featured the first "PG 13" content that has been on this series in either season!

Let's start with Michelle and Russell. As with most episodes this season, they were given the least screen time. They changed the name of their restaurant this week to "The Cheerful Sole" because they were serving sole as the fish in their fish and chips. Russell went on and on about how sustainable his fish was as he was opening a package of frozen French fries! It was a tough choice to not make real fries and I don't blame him really, but if you want to talk sustainability of all things, a package of fries is not it. Russell falls behind on service because of all the takeout orders. Later at judging, Sarah tells them that they live in an "Idealistic pink fluffy cloud world, but they would never survive on high st." Ray said that while they did ok, there will be no restaurant of the week this week because he will not put his endorsement on frozen fries. TELL'EM RAY!

Tim and Lindsie had a rough week this week. Tim decides to make "Clangers," a pastry with a main course on one side and dessert on the other... hmmm sounds familiar! As he was making them, they looked really gross and reminiscent of something I once made that looked like small intestine. At service, Lindsie had a flapper costume on as she wandered around the empty dining room. They had a lot of takeout orders, but no one in the restaurant. They even had the waitresses delivering the takeout on foot to local addresses! Lindsie went to check on Tim in the kitchen and they recorded the most passive aggressive conversation in the history of television! Congrats guys! New record! Then crazy maniac comes in and starts yelling about how the food was terrible and making poor Lindise cry. This brings us to one of our "mature" scenes of the night. I didn't expect to hear the guy yelling "shit food" all over the place. Can you do that on TV before 10? He also dropped a great line about what I think was potted ham. He said "The only way this ham was potted, was if the pig smoked a joint before he died!" Well put sir. All of the people at his table were mortified and not wanting to show their faces on TV being associated with crazy maniac. Lindsie got the last laugh though when she banned them from coming back as they were leaving without paying! TAKE THAT SIR! The only thing that was surprising about judging was that they are NOT in the challenge! Whaaaaaa?? I thought Jalister or Laura and Peter deserved it more this week.

Helen and Steve got off to a nice start. Helen decided they would have takeaway, AND takehome, one being hot food to eat right away, and one being a prepared meal you bake at home. Steven doesn't understand this and Helen gives HIM the stern talking this time. This couple is the anti Lindsie and Tim! When one gets upset, the other just says "heynow!" and everything's alright! I thought the takeout/takehome was a great idea and a step above the other teams. Steve was at the grocery store and it seemed like the takehome meals were selling great. At judging, Raymond says the food was pretty pathetic and everyone hated it. Helen flips out cause they were being pretty hard on her but Ray says stop being so defensive! She says "I'M NOT DEFENSIVE, BUT IF YOU TAKE A SHOT AT ME, I WILL BLOCK IT. RAWR!" Ray tells her that he only is here to give constructive advice and she takes it as criticism and for that, she is in the challenge.

Laura drags Peter out to help her market even though he has a lot to do in the kitchen. It will only take 1 hour she says. But why did he have to go with her? They stuck together the whole time anyway and he sort of hung back not talking. After the next commercial, you see him in the kitchen saying "we are about an hour behind." Talk about passive aggressive! As they are serving people, we see some choice comments from diners. "Bland", "It's a bit more British than Chinese", and my favorite "My 4 year old could make this parfait." Inspector David Moore spied on them through the kitchen backdoor for 15 minutes and he says that Peter is still not in charge of the kitchen. Peter defends himself: "All of the food that leaves that kitchen passes by me!" Ray asks, "Do you mean by proximity, or are you actually inspecting it" which is followed by silence from Peter. Ray says they made money and did ok this week, but the kitchen is still a nightmare and for that reason they are in the challenge.



Jalasdair has a tough mission this week because as Alasdair puts it, their food is not "Takeawayable" because of its fine dining characteristics. They decided to do a twist on a takeaway by handing out "Posh Picnics" at the Regatta in their town this weekend. Alasdair seems to be scared marketing to all of the rich folks at regatta, but James has no trouble talking to the ladies. In the other "adult" scene of the episode James comes running up to Alasdair yelling "That bird had the biggest pair of knockers I've ever seen!" Ahh British people. "The Gallery" is fully booked for the night but James finds out his dad had a heart attack. After some debate he decides to stick around and visit his dad after dinner service. At Judging, Raymond tells Jalasdair that they FINALLY worked as a team and it was a huge catastrophe. They brought crap overpriced sandwiches to the biggest high class lunching event in Britain where people bring picnics of caviar and foie gras. David Moore got the ONLY takeout of the night and it was stale from sitting all day. He called it a howler which I had to look up. Especially in British English, a howler is a mistake so egregious that the person catching it howls with laughter. It is used to refer to a mistake in an examination, in literature, in film or television (also known as a blooper), or in sport (see, footballing mistake). This was their first time making money, but they still have growing up to do and for that they are in the challenge.

What did you guys think of the episode? Or were you all out drinking for the holiday?


2 Comments

I am guilty of consuming too much alcohol last night, but will be watching tonight while wii fit-ing. Haha.

Yuuummmm, I love cornish pasties (no r in that Dan...it's pasty or pastie). I got fat on them one week in London. Never had one that was sweet and savory on either end though. Wonder if that's a new trend?

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