Beastie Boys – Foodies!?!?

I’ve been a huge fan of the Beastie Boys my whole life, but never realized what big foodies they were until now! I had this idea last week and have spent a lot of time on it. I didn’t foresee how much effort it would be finding all of these references and tallying them. I have now made the tally about 5 times and I am pretty happy with the totals. Before we start, let me tell you the rules I went by.

1. Brass monkey is sometimes a dance, but mostly a mixed drink. I only counted it as the drink.

2. I didn’t count the generic “drinking”, but any mention of beer or liquor was counted.

3. Things like the word juice for money or the word melon for someone’s head don’t count.

4. Fat Morton Jelly Roll is a musician, not a food.

Anyways, here I present to you my quest to collect every Beastie food reference, catalogue them by rapper, and discern who the biggest foodie is, and who the biggest drinker is. If you just want the results, scroll way down to the bottom. But if you are a fan of the boys, scroll through the lyrics and I am sure you will be laughing like I was the whole time I was making this. Normal food references are in black, while booze references are in blue.  My comments are in italics, and there are links sprinkled all throughout. Some sites that helped me collect all this info were here, and here.


Licenced to ill


Rhymin and stealin

Yo ho ho and a pint of Brass
Monkey- MCA

Brass monkey is their favorite mixed drink in this era.

I’ve been drinkin’ my rum a Def
son of a gun
I fought the law and
I cold won – MCA

My pistol is loaded I shot Betty Crocker
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones’ locker – ADR

The New Style

I got franks and pork and beans – MIKE
Always bust the new routines

I chill at White Castle ’cause it’s the
best
But I’m fly at Fat Burger when I way out west – MIKE +2

A lot of beer a lot of girls and
a lot of cursin’
Twenty-two automatic on my
person – MCA

Like the bun to the burger – MCA
like the burger to the bun – ADR
Like the cherry - MIKE
to the apple – MCA
to the peach – ADR
to the plum – MIKE

She’s Crafty

I spent my last dollar to buy a Sabrett – MCA
When I seen this girl I could never forget

Sabrett is the favorite hot dog among vendors in new york city.

Possee in Effect

I drink quarts and cans and bottles and sixes what up
Between the turntables keep the vodka and the mixes – MCA

I’m a Def Manhattan killer – a
rhyme driller
A mike in my hand and a mouth
full of Miller – ADR

I got a hat not a visor – I
drink Budweiser – MCA
The turntables – up on the drum
riser

You’re a fake wearin’ sucker whose gold got rusted
Cheaper than a hot dog with no mustard – ADR

Slow Ride

Because being bad news is what we’re all about
We went to White
Castle and we got thrown
out – MIKE

I shot homeboy but the bullet
was a dud
So I reached in the Miller
cooler – grabbed a cool Bud – MCA +2

Slow riding, gun hidin’ on the
go
I’m fly like an eagle and I
drink Old CrowMIKE

With bottle in hand at the
microphone stand
Ay yo homeboy what you drinkin’
man -ADR

Sittin’ around the house – gettin’ high and watchin’ tube
Eating Colonel’s chicken – ADR
drinkin’ Heineken brew – MCA

Girls

And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile –
ADR

No Sleep till Brooklyn

Like a lemon to a lime a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the
fly women
MCA FOOD/DRINK

Paul Revere

Been had a little horsy named
Paul Revere
Just me and my horsy and a quart
of beer – ADR

The sun is beating down on my
baseball hat
The air is gettin’ hot the beer
is getting flat – ADR

The brew was in my hand and he
was on my tip
His voice was hoarse, his throat
was dry he asked me for a sip - ADR

Now what do we have here an
outlaw and his beer
I run this land, you understand
I make myself clear – MCA

Now I got the gun you got the
brew
You got two choices of what you
can do – MCA

The King Adrock – that is my
name
And I know the fly spot where
they got the champagne. – ADR

Mike D. grabbed the money MCA
snatched the gold
I grabbed two girlies and a beer
that’s cold. – ADR

Hold it now Hit it

Sipping pints of ale out the
window sill
When I get my fill I’m chilly
chill – ADR

Now I just got home because I’m
out on bail
What’s the time it’s time to buy
ale - ADR/MIKE

Peter eater – parking meter all
of the time
If I run out of ale – it’s
Thunderbird wine – MCA and MIKE

Miller drinking - chicken
eating – dress so fly – ADR – Drink and Food
I got friends in high places that are keeping me high
Down with Mike D. and it ain’t no hassle
Got the ladies of the eighties from here to White Castle
ALL

For real, not phony – “O.E.”
and Rice-a-Roni – ADR – drink and food

Everyday I drink a
“O.E.” and I don’t go to work – MCA

Pump it up homeboy – just don’t stop
Chef Boy-ar-dee cooling on the pot - ADR

The King Adrock – that is my
name
you’re drinking Moet – we
got the champagne – ADR

King of the Ave. with the Def
female
You’re rhyming and stealin’ with
the freshest ale – ADR

Brass Monkey

Got this dance that’s more than
real
Drink Brass Monkey – here’s how
you feel – MCA

We’re offered Moet - MCA
we don’t mind Chivas
Wherever we go with bring the
Monkey with us – ADR +2

I drink Brass Monkey and I rock
well
I got a Castle in Brooklyn – that’s where I dwell – MCA

Monkey tastes Def when you pour
it on ice
Come on y’all it’s time to get
nice – MIKE

Coolin’ by the lockers getting
kind of funky
Me and the crew – we’re drinking
Brass Monkey - MIKE

I put it with the Monkey – mixed
it in the cup
Went over to the girl, “Yo
baby, what’s up?” – MCA

You got a dry Martini – thinking
you’re cool
I’ll take your place at the bar
– I smack you off your stool – ADR

I’ll down a ’40 dog” in a
single gulp
And if you got beef you’ll get
beat to a pulp – ADR

I drink it – I think it – I see
it – I be it
I love Brass Monkey but I won’t
give D. it – ADR

Slow and Low

We got determination – bass and highs
White
Castle fries only come in
one size - MCA

Yes, this is the 5th white castle reference on this album.

Time to get ill

He stumbles in the room with the
Chivas in his hand
Cold chillin’ on the spot at the
microphone stand – MIKE

I’d have the pedal to the metal
if I had a car
But I’m chiller with the Miller
– cold coolin’ at the bar – ADR
I can drink a quart of Monkey
and still stand still - MIKE
What’s the time? – it’s time to
get ill

Went outside my house – I went down to the deli
I spent my last dime to refill my fat belly – MIKE

Coolin’ on the corner with a
forty of O.E.
‘Cause me and M.C.A. we’re down
with Mike D. – MIKE


Paul’s Boutique

Shake your Rump

So like a pimp I’m pimpin’
I got a boat to eat shrimp in – ADR and MIKE

Like eating burgers or chicken or you’ll be picking your
nose
I’m on time and that’s how it goes – ADR +2

Mike D with your bad self running things
What’s up with your bad breath ONION RINGS! – ADR

Like Sam the butcher bringing Alice the meat – ADR

Johnny Ryall

Johnny Ryall is the bum on my stoop
I gave him fifty cents to buy some soup -MIKE

Eggman

I looked out the window and seen his bald head
I ran to the fridge and pulled out an egg – MCA

The egg a symbol of life
Go inside your house and bust out your wife
MCA

I pulled out the jammy he thought it was a
joke
The trigger I pulled his face the yoke – MCA

Reached in his pocket took all his cash
Left my man standing with an egg moustache –
MIKE / ADR

Which came first the chicken or the egg
I egged the chicken then I ate his leg - MCA

Sometimes hard boiled – MIKE
sometimes runny ray – ADR
It comes from a chicken not a bunny dummy

People laugh, it’s no joke
My name’s Yauch and I’m throwing the yoke – MCA

We all dressed in black we snuck up around the back
We began to attack the eggs did crack on Haze’s back – ALL

Sam I am down with the program
Green eggs – ADR
and ham – MikeD
Yosemite Sam

You made the mistake and judge a man by his race
You go through life with egg on your face – MIKE/ADR

Woke up in the morning peculiar feeling
Looked up and saw egg dripping from the ceiling – ADR

Families punk rocks the businessman
I’ll dog anybody with an egg in my hand – MIKE

High Plains Drifter

Fear and loathing across the
country listening to my 8 track
I reached behind the seat to
snatch a cool one from the pack – MCA

Concoct a black and tan in my
brandy snifter
I’m a kleptomaniac K-Mart
shoplifter – ADR

But Adrock, what’s the recipe for a black and tan?  will someone tell me in a few songs??

Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price
So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice - MIKE

Mellow like Jell-O – ADR
cool like lemonade - MCA
Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made

Ballantine quarts with the
puzzle on the cap
I couldn’t help but notice I was
caught in a speed trap – ADR

Ballantine bottle caps have a rebus puzzle printed on the underside.

With his five o’ clock shadow he
smelled of 3-day old beer
My man turned to me and said why
are you here? - ADR

Sounds of Science

The dregs of the earth and the eggs that I eat
I’ve got pegs through my hands and one through my feet – ALL

Time and money for girls covered with honey
You lie and aspire to be as cunning – ALL

Order the quarter deluxe why don’t you wake up - ALL

Not like a roach or a piece of toast
I’m goin’ out first class ain’t goin’ out coach – MIKE

Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy
Dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange – ALL +2

5 piece chicken
dinner
– Song title, 2 point bonus

Jeb.. get away from the bar-b-que man – ADR

What goes Around

You’re all mixed up like pasta primavera
Why’d you throw that chair at Geraldo Rivera – ALL

Bum cheese on rye with ham – MIKE/ADR + 2
and prosciutto – MCA
Got more Louie than Phillip Rizzuto

Shadrach

I mix business and pleasure way
too much
You know wine and women and song
and such – MCA

I’ve got money like Charles Dickens
Got the girlies in the Couple like the Colonel’s got the
chickens – MCA

Vicious circle of reality since the day you were born
And we love the hot butter “say what” the popcorn
- MCA, 1  ALL, 1

That’s kind of a strange juxtaposition of lines

Sippin on wine and mackin
Rockin’ on the stage with all
the hands clappin’ Yea… – MIKE

B-Boy Bouillabaisse - Song Title – 2 point bonus

Bouillabaisse is a traditional Provencal fish stew

Get on the mic

Go to the movies get the Rolos
the cholos riding slow and low – ADR

Mike my stromy don’t be so selfish
Get on the mic cause you know you eat shellfish- MCA

Stop That Train

It’s 4:00 a.m. I’ve got the Dr.
Hfuhruhurr Ale
I’ve got nothing to lose so I’m
pissin’ on the third rail – MIKE

I think this is a combo ref to a type of 40 that isnt produced
anymore, and Steve Martins name in “the man with two brains”

Now you’re stuck between the stations and it seems like an
eternity
Sweating like sardines in a flophouse fraternity – MCA

Hot cup of coffee and the donuts are Dunkin
Friday night and Jamaica Queens funkin – ADR +2

Went from the station straight to Orange Julius
Bought a hot dog from my man George Drakoulias – MIKE

Year and a day

I’m fishing with my boat and I’m fishing for trout
mix the Bass Ale with the
Guinness Stout
MCA – FOOD/DRINK

Oh There is the recipe for the black and tan I was looking for earlier! Thanks Adam!

Lay it on Me

Girl you should be with me you should drop that bum
Cause I got more flavor than Fruit Striped Gum – MIKE/ADR

Awesome

Well your face turns red as your
glass of wine
That you spilled on my lyrics as
you wasted my time – ADR/MCA

I’d like to butter your muffin I’m not bluffin’ - ADR
Serve you on a platter like Thanksgiving stuffin’ – MIKE

Mike on the Mic

Had too much to drink at the Red Lobster
Now the room is spinning around like the blades of a
helicopter – MIKE

You might know this but you’ve never been this see
If I ate spinach then I’d be called Spinach D – MIKE


Check your Head

Finger Lickin Good - Song
title +2

Well Mike D’s Out Back And He’s Growin’ Onion
I’ve Got Bigger Buns Than My Man Paul Bunyon’s – MCA

I’ll Be In The Paper The News With Ernie Ernesto
They’ll Even Print My Recipe For Pasta With Pesto – MIKE

They did print the recipe in the first issue of the short lived Beastie magazine

Now Here’s Another Special Of The Day
See I’ve Got More Spice Than The Frugal GourmetMCA

‘Cause I Can Flip A Rhyme Off The Tip Of My Tongue
Yeah I Be Switching Up The Rhythm Like The Rhyme’s A Piece
Of Chewing Gum - MCA

So What’cha Want

Well Just Plug Me In Just Like I Was Eddie Harris
You’re Eating Crazy Cheese Like You Would Think I’m From
Paris - ADR

But Like A Dream I’m Flowing Without No Stopping
Sweeter Than A Cherry Pie With Ready Whip Topping - MCA

Well I’m As Cool As A Cucumber In A Bowl Of Hot Sauce
You’ve Got The Rhyme And Reason But Got No Cause - MCA

Blue Nun

Our Evening Began In Peter Scharro’s Confortable Study
In His New York Townhouse Where The Candle Light
Was Just Right The HiFi Was In The Background
And The Wine Was Delicious…
(Laughing)
What’s The Secret Peter
Naturally I’ll Say Its The Wine
Mmm It Does Go Well With The Chicken
Delicious again Peter-Sample- 2 drink, 1 food

Professor Booty

You got you got you got you got you got
You’ve got the boomin’ system but it’s sloshing out doo-doo
You think it’s chocolate milk but it’s watered down yoo-hoo- MIKE


Ill Comunication

Sure Shot

I’ve Got The Brand New Doo-Doo Guaranteed Like Yoo Hoo –
MIKE

Mike D with the same rhyme twice in a row!  c’mon mike, the first one was better anyways.  and this is the first line on the album!

B-Boys Making with
the Freak Freak

Well I’m Brewing Up Rhymes Like I Was Using A Still
I’ve Got An Old School Flow Like Mike McGill – MCA

I called this a food ref because he is talking about brewing equipment and MAKING beer, not actual beer or the act of drinking.  Also, a still can be used for many things other then alcohol.

“Shit if this is gonna’ be that kind of party
I’m gonna’ stick my dick in the mashed potatos” -
SAMPLE

Mario’s Nagging Nonni’s About The Pesto Pizza
And Then He’s On A Mission
And He’s Checking For Peacha – MCA

Get it Together

Gotta’ Do It Like This Like Chachi And Joanie
‘Cause She’s The Cheese And I’m The Macaroni – ADR

I Eat The F*****’ Pineapple Now & Laters
Listen To Me Now, Don’t Listen To Me Later - QTIP

Do It

Like Gravy To Potatos Luke To Darth Vader
I’m A Souped Up Sucker And I’ll See You All Later – ADR


Hello Nasty

Super disco breakin’

Well it’s
50 cups of coffee and you know it’s on
I move the crowd to the break of break of dawn -ADR

second album in a row where the first or second sentence is food.

Sometimes I like to brag sometimes I’m soft spoken
When I’m in Holland
I eat the pannenkoekenMIKE
The one with the spice – MCA
you bring the sauce- ADR
You can kiss my ass you funky boss

The Move

I don’t mean to brag I don’t mean to boast
But I’m intercontinental when I eat french toast – ADR/MIKE

Just a Test

It’s like fudge and caramel they’re not the same
And it’s a shame all you talk is game – ALL

Body Movin’

Flame on, I’m gone
I’m so sweet like a nice bon bon – ADR

And like a bottle of Chateau
Neuf Du Pap
I’m fine like wine when I start
to rap – ADR

Wine from that region costs around $100 a bottle, but i saw one for $3000

MCA where have you been
Packed like sardines in the tin – MCA

Intergalactic

When it comes to beats well I’m a fiend
I like my sugar with coffee
and cream – ADR

Now when I wrote graffiti my name was Slop
If my rap’s soup my beats is stock – ADR

I LOVE this line about stock

If you try to knock me you’ll get mocked
I’ll stir fry you in my wok -MCA

Putting Shame in your
Game

We’re all connected like a Lego set
One equaling one together like a croquette – MIKE

This doesn’t make sense

Well I’m the Benihana chef on the SP12
I chop the f*** out the beats left on the shelf – ADR

Three MC’s and one DJ

Sweet and sour like a tangerine
Fresh like a box of Krispy Kremes MIKE +2

The Grasshopper Unit

Order in vegetarian sharks fin
Try to keep my life non violent – MCA

With spinach in your teeth you’re grinnin’
So on your way out please take a mint – ADR +2

Unite

So what if I’m a ham and cheese on rye
I gots to do my thing and that’s no lie – ADR

I went inside the deli and my man’s like what
I write the songs that make the whole world suck – ADR

High roller ah big baller
I call ‘em crullers but you know they’re called crawlers -
MCA


To the 5 Boroughs

Ch-Check it Out

Like caprese and with the basil
Not goofy like darren or hazel – MIKE

I’ve got class like pink
champale
- ADR

Right Right Now Now

Now let me drop a verse that’s terse and concise
I’m an iron chef when I slice and dice
With the rhyme precise, the word is nice
So please pass me the Reunite on
ice
- ADR – FOOD AND DRINK

I can’t find a website for reuniti but i guess it is an old cheap wine. In the commercial, someone would pour it saying “reuniti on ice…mmm thats nice”

3 The Hard Way

We be grillin’ cheese and flippin’ flapjacks
With the diamond stylus we cutting wax – ADR +2

Oops gotcha clutch like Plazza
Sneak between the sheets so hide like matzoh
Holler back challah bread… next
We are the crew who put the crew in Cruex – ADR +2

If you sell our CDs on Canal before we make’em
Then we will serve you on a platter like Steak’Em – MIKE

Or UMMMMM Steak?  as I like to call it.

Rhyme the Rhyme Well

With the cornbread stuffin’ with the Blimpie Bluffin
Mother f*****’ Yosi with the goddamn muffins
Hey could you please pass me the peas
And let me get a tissue if you think your’re gonna sneeze –
ADR +3

I’m not even asking, “Yo what’s cracking?”
Serving MC’s on a platter like baked Alaskan – MIKE

In the
liner notes for this song, they specifically mention a Sara Moulton recipe for baked alaska from “Sara’s Secrets”.  Check my site tommorow, I will be making/posting this. Also, check out this comment from her on the eGullet forums.

Triple Trouble

See I like to party not drink
Bacardi ‘Cause I’m not looking to throw up on nobody -MIKE

Known for my spiel like wheelie one wheel
‘Cause this is like having a delicious meal – MIKE

If you wanna drink call Mr.
Belvedere
Run this rap game like a
brigadier - MIKE

Im assuming he is talking about belvidere vodka.  Not Mr. Belvidere, the 80’s sitcom.

Adrock a.k.a sharp cheddar
My rhymes are better – ADR

On a hot day sip on iced latte
Devious like Wyllie Coyote – MIKE

Hey F You

I keep that hot sauce hot not mild and weak
It’s gonna burn your mouth until you wet your beak - MCA

The truth is brutal your grandma’s kugelADR

Oh Word?

Yo what the schnitzel we’re back
Shit’s getting duller and duller and that’s a fact – ADR

Yo what the parsley, parsley to the teeth
I’m a rhyme style writer you’re a rhyme style thief - MIKE

So get that poor chicken up off your fork
My name’s Mike D made in New York – MIKE

Yo what the falafel you gotta get up awful
Early to fool Mr. Furley – ADR

Listen up biters go please stop
While I’m politicin’ at Murray’s Cheese Shop - ADR

Like Ernest Shackleton said to Ord Lees
I’ll have dog pemmican with my tea
Now pass the wok ’cause I’m cookin’
The names MCA made in Downtown Brooklyn – MCA +2

Ernest Shackleton’s 1914-1916 expedition to the Antarctic resorted to eating dog pemmican when they were stranded on ice for the winter.  haha check the wiki

Also, this is MCA’s second mention of his wok.

Not walking around looking to get you cake
The D is for Diamonds not for Drakes - MIKE

That’s it That’s All

When I’m on the mic I feel good to go
Like a snow day for school with hot cocoa – MIKE

All Lifestyles

I’m a Wonderama snake can winner
Bagel from Bob and a TV Dinner - MIKE +2

Shazam!

I sneak a chicken tikka
Marsala
at a gala event – ADR

I’d like a lettuce, tomato and Munster on rye
All this cheese is gonna make me cry
Gorgonzola, Provolone
Don’t even get me started on this microphone – MCA +3

Blowin’ up like my name is Joe Bazooka

I’m a super-dooper MC party pooper – MIKE

Internationally known as the Keebler Elf
Can’t keep a catalog up on the shelf – MIKE

I splash on beats like sauce on spaghetti
Putting MC’s out of business like they’re Crazy Eddie – MIKE

Open Letter to NYC

At lunch I’d go to Blimpies down on Montague Street
And hit the Fulton Street Mall for the sneakers on my feet –
MIKE

Brouhaha

Yo we be making mountains out of Cool Whip
Pass me the mint for the julep
- ADR FOOD/DRINK

Oh mai oui you can catch me
At Jean Vie with a pastry
C’est ci c’est la oh n’est pas
Qu’est-ce-que c’est le brouhahaha – ADR


Final Numbers:

Drunkest song: Duh, Brass Monkey with 11.

Hungriest songs: EggMan and B-Boy Bouillabaisse tie with 14, but they both cheat, so Oh, Word  takes it with 7

ALBUMS:

Licenced To Ill

Food: 22

Drink: 42   DRINK WINNER!

Pauls Boutique

Food: 54    FOOD WINNER!

Drink: 9

Check Your Head

Food:11

Drink: 2

Ill Communication

Food: 7

Drink: 0

Hello Nasty

Food: 21

Drink: 1

To The 5 Boroughs

Food: 37

Drink: 5

Boys:

MCA

Food: 44

Drink: 21

Adrock   – Double Winner!

Food: 69

Drink: 27

Mike D

Food: 56

Drink: 12

Congrats Adrock, you are the biggest foodie of the Beastie Boys.  I should have known when I saw Sara Moulton talking about you!