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Wine Glasses - Creating Akward Moments Since 50 A.D.

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I enjoy wine from time to time, but it is definitely NOT my drink of choice. However, now that I am "growing up" there are events where wine is not only the sole option, but also the topic of discussion. I'm at a dinner Saturday night. A "grown-up" dinner with adults. I acted like a grownup as well. I did not drink more than I should, tasted the wines and wrote my observations, engaged in intelligent conversation over hors-d'oeuvres and dinner, and all in all was proud of myself for a respectable performance. Then it happened. In slow motion, the moment I hoped wouldn't happen had arrived. I watched a full glass of red wine bounce off the tips of my fingers, tilt from the table where it was sitting and float through the air aimed at an unsuspecting diner's white skirt. The act was over; the adults realized I was not one of them. Why wasn't there a kids table? Someone should have brought keystone light for this amateur. Does this happen to anyone else? I know it has happened to me once before this occasion and to Mandi as well. Wine glasses are so easy to spill!!

Now I know messing with wine glasses isn't cool amongst wine people. The shape of the glass has been brought down over the ages and is considered to be the perfect way to drink wine. There have been many tests where it is proved that wine actually tastes better in a glass shaped like that. These ideas hold the original integrity of the wine glass, but just make it less spillable.




This is what a wine glass looks like to me after one drink. I am far from drunk, but somehow it feels like my wineglass is on stilts.











Putting a few suction cups on the base might help, but also might cause spills when lifting it up. Trying to pull the glass off the suction could create a situation like Dwight hitting himself in the face with his phone after Jim removed the quarters.










Let's just put a larger base on the thing! Or for that matter, put some weights in the base so it's less top heavy.












This rubber bumper wouldn't stop you from spilling, but it would prevent the double embarrassment of a spill/break. Just tell your friends its one of those trendy markers letting you know which glass is yours.









Maybe people could have these little wooden stands next to each persons plate. I only spill it by knocking it over. I don't spill wine while holding the glass in my hands; I'm not Lucille Bluth, air-quoting all over the place









They actually have these! Buy them people! Just search stemless wine glass











It would be funny to have this at your house, and when someone spills, give it to them and make them use it for the rest of the night.










I am sure people have stories about spilling wine at a place you shouldn't. With the type of friends I have in fact I know it. Come on and give me some funny in the comments. You know who you are. Nick have you done this at some work function? Laura you must have dropped some wine at some classy bar or event.


7 Comments

Hilarious. This post cracked me up!

I don't have any funny awkward moments of spilling wine per say, but just a few months ago I bought a good friend some wine glasses from my place of employment(ha) for a house warming gift. There we were... wrapping gifts for their Jack & Jill, sipping on some Riesling. Then when I began curling a ribbon, I suddenly knock over one of their new glasses onto their glass table, then it fell onto their chair. Did it break?...NO. Did it chip...NO! Nothing! It was still in perfect form. I was so proud of my gift!

I'd suggest to everyone to buy restaurant grade glasses! The brand Libbey is where it's at. We even have stemless for the "kids"!:-)

I agree with everything but the stemless... even though i bought them off someonese registry. It needs the stem! So red wines tanins aren't ruined from body heat and white wine doesn't get luke warm.

LOL dan, you know me far too well. it wasn't until this year that i owned wine glasses that weren't plastic...holler at the kids table. i will forever be a klutz, which is why i strategically drink red over white to avoid staining when i spill.

BTW - the sippy seal wine glass is brilliant. great post and congrats on your adult behavior pre-spill!

The craziest thing I have ever seen is at a dinner once something fell over and hit a wine glass, the glass did fall over and the wine spilled, but the stem separated perfectly from the glass. Neither the glass or the stem was chipped or cracked, just disconnected.

no dan, i have never spilled wine at a work event. get back to me when you have a blog post about punching your cfo or "falling asleep" on the floor at the company christmas party

For all of us that are new to "adulthood", body heat won't stand a chance tainting our wine when using stemless glassware. Why sip when you can gulp? Better yet...chug (Thanksgiving Challenge circa 2005) Hahaha.

i spilled red wine (didnt break it) all over his white carpet. The next time we had a gathering he had bought me a kiddy sippy cup. hilarious!

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